Anything Could Happen Part 2

I had prepared out loud and also in my head about how I was going to have this conversation about leaving and what I was going to say so it was easy to understand. But then while Mercedes was cooking dinner with a craft beer in front of her, she looked extremely stressed out so instead of speaking the words I repeated to myself over and over all day today, I asked her what was wrong. She told me today was a difficult day for her and then of course went into some details. I wasn’t about to add any extra/unnecessary stress to her already ridiculous day so I figured the conversation could wait until tomorrow. But then during dinner, I was reminded of why I am here and how this experience is also giving me the kind of human connections I am seeking. 

Earlier on this Wednesday, I was at the grandmother’s house and aunt Cris was trying to teach me how to roll my r’s (the double r in Spanish but also in Spain’s Spanish sometimes it’s just a single r that sounds like a double r. Is this making sense? LOL) and she was moving her hands in the motion of someone revving a motorcycle to compare the sound and it was an enjoyable moment between us because I looked and sounded ridiculous attempting to do it myself. So during last night’s dinner, the oldest girl Paula (who by the way no longer is as moody towards me since I laid down the law with her and now we talk about boys and Stranger Things) was telling this story to the rest of her family. So then they had me repeat words that contained double r’s so I can try to achieve this and I failed miserably every single time. So Alfonso, who is much more chill than his wife, is telling me to open my mouth more and Sofia is telling me to move my tongue this way, etc. etc. And then Alfonso started to say who knows what as fast as lightning and this is how I learned of some Spanish tongue twister about a dog and maybe a priest and it took me like 6 or 7 times but suddenly the rolling r sound came out of my mouth. When it did, I instantly paused and had the look of shock alllllll over my face. Shock mixed with excitement for sure and we all were silent for a whole second and then immediately began laughing in amazement. I mean, I had to put a lot of emphasis into the r sound and rev my hands like a motorcycle as aunt Cris did earlier today but I ACTUALLY DID IT! And then I did it again and again and again. And we laughed and laughed and I loved every second of it. My face must have been as red as the tomatoes in the salad that abuela gave us from her garden but this type of vulnerability is part of the kind of connections I have been seeking. Feeling okay to look silly or to do something embarrassing, like really putting yourself completely out there and being open and okay with it. I was reminded of that during dinner last night and it’s the exact kind of reminder that I needed to stop being so fucking impulsive. I usually dash immediately if I find myself even slightly annoyed or irritated with anything or anyone and I’m unsure if this is a survival technique I developed long ago or if it’s because I tend to give my complete and entire all into every person and situation I come across and have told myself I need to start choosing my own peace instead of trying to keep the peace. It’s likely a combination of both of these things but also a 2021 goal of mine is to stop doing this, stop being so fucking impulsive all of the damn time, to see things through a little bit more, and also to make decisions with more logic than emotion. And that’s how I changed my mind about jumping ship.

I mean, there’s also the incentive of making $30 per person per hour to teach the adults and children of Torrelaguna as I am the sole native English speaker around for miles. The family once owned an English academy but due to Covid, they had to close it. They now rent out the small space to some swanky lawyer but people have been asking if they will open back up. They don’t intend to at this time but they will refer these people seeking English lessons over to me. $30 per person per hour. I literally can make up to $150 an hour with just five students in my class.. and take the hour to make crafts…. sooooo this is where I’ll be, for now, as of today anyways. Ha. I can only stay in “Schengen” Europe until November anyway so I might as well rank in some cash before the smash and dash and soul searchin’ continues. See, logic. Also I have remembered that once everyone is back into their school routines and if I could just be a little more patient, this place and opportunity is truly a blessing. Plus, I have noticed that Mercedes is just pretty high-strung overall and always in some sort of frenzy. She needs some Zen J in her life for sure. Like today when I made her sit down and have a conversation about expectations and scheduling, she opens her calendar and then realized that she’s late to her eye doctor appointment an hour away in Madrid. This lady needs to worry about herself instead of my caffeine intake L O L. So, I intend to just mainly ignore her when she’s going off about shit that is completely irrelevant, which honestly really isn't all that often. Funny how some people take certain things so serious but neglect the shit that is actually, in fact, serious. This is Mercedes. And I really can’t blame her for her lack of communication skills because most people have never taken an interpersonal communications course and it really fucking shows man. Educate yourselves, please please please!!! I promise your life and relationships will be soooo much better.

Today is now Thursday and I’m sitting on a rock waiting for soccer practice to finish and I’m truly unsure if it’s just running late or if Mercedes gave me the wrong time to go pick up Juan… There’s a little girl in a yellow jersey with baby blue trim. The number six, also yellow with a blue trim, is on her back. She is both the smallest person and the only girl on the field. The little girl just ran up to her mom, a fashionista with hot pink nails, a sparkly baby blue tank top and sunglasses that I’m pretty sure Cardi B also owns. She is so proud of her daughter and I am so happy to be watching their interaction. Juan’s cousin, Sonny, sits on the rock to my right and tells me the girl doesn’t play in the actual matches but comes to the practices because she loves fútbol and likes to play with her brother. I love that they allow this to happen and I love this moment so much more. A little while later, the girl’s mother walks up to me likely because she hears me speaking in English and we begin to chat a bit and then of course she asks if I’d be interested in teaching her daughter English. Boom. Connected.

Now it’s 9PM and Sofia just put a reminder on the fridge to remember to bring her water bottle to school tomorrow. I told her I’ll just make sure she remembers everyday. She said, “without water, I am not Sofia.” She is by far my favorite and she was so happy to get a new NASA crewneck in a faded purple color. Her favorite color is a pastel-like purple, I suppose like lavender. And if I had to pick a favorite “girly” color, mine is most definitely the same (or easily teal). My soul sister. She loves to pop out of random places throughout the house and scare me. Sometimes I get her back, but mostly she gets me. The other day she was asking about my “boyfriend” which does not exist at all and since I’ve only actually ever been in one relationship and am still good friends with Greg, I showed her a picture of him and she made kissy faces back to me in return. What was weird is that later on this day, we were out and about in the town and I saw a young child in a motherfucking NEW HAVEN baseball cap. New Haven!!! Out of allll of the places in the world! On the same day I’m talking about someone from New Haven. Wild. Another reminder that life is just so fantastic. 

Instead of dipping out, I decided to book a hostel stay in Madrid for the weekend coming up. One night in a social hostel should give me some balance and if not, it will at least give me conversations with people closer in age to me. Plus, a friend from Cali who I actually met while teaching in China has some friends that he made while he was teaching in Spain a while back and they are located in a city only two hours away from mine. So he’s going to put us in contact and he said “they’ll definitely show you a good time.” Down for all of the interpretations of a “good time,” so I’m looking forward to that as well. Plus, one is a musician and tends to perform concerts on weekends and ya'll know how much I love music sooo I'm totally into it.

I’m somehow slightly buzzed off of one glass of wine from a $2 bottle of rosé. I think this is what some call ‘adulthood.’ Let me give you some cultural differences between Spain and USA that I've observed thus far:

- The calendar begins with Monday, not Sunday. So Sunday's placement is where we would assume Saturday to be. Honestly, it makes much more sense because the week starts with Monday and really ends with Sunday. Americans are so stupid.

- Meals are at set times. Dinner is always between 9-10PM. For breakfast, I've only ever seen the parents eat grain crackers with hummus or with cheese and jam spread on it. Lunch is the largest meal of the day and it's around 2:30PM-3:00PM and then you can have a light snack sometime before supper, which is also quite light. In total, you eat five times per day at the same time each day. This is great for your metabolism so shoutout to this.

- Tomatoes are expensive here which is funny because isn't there a tomato festival in Spain? Hmmmm. Luckily for us, the grandparents own a farm and all of the vegetables we eat are home grown.

- Europeans in general are so proper. They hold their knife and fork throughout the entire meal, even if they aren't using it, and only place it down when they are finished eating. It's so cute watching Juan hold his knife so cutesy-like. Americans use utensils like a shovel...

- When you buy milk or eggs, they are not refrigerated but in a regular ass aisle. I'm still very confused about this to be honest.

- Catalonia (the region where Barcelona is located) wants to become independent from Spain for whatever reason. Kinda like Texas.. 

& that's all for now! I hope you're having the dopest day. :)